May 18 2009

Feeling Like A Lab Rat

I had some more blood tests done today.  Nothing special,  just the regular ol’  “why are you infertile tests”.  When the nurse came in, she gave me a strange look.  She kept looking down at my arms, (which by the way are completely bruised on both sides from the what seems like hundreds of recent blood tests and MRI’s) and then finally said something.  She asked if I had any other blood tests recently.  I explained the last couple I had as well as the contrast burn from the MRI.  The next question was whether or not she had done any of them.  I told her no, and she quickly replied, “Which girl here did?”   I willingly pointed out her coworker and she laughed.  I guess my arms shouldn’t have looked the way they did.  She probably thought I was some kind of addict.  Oh, well.  I could really care less.  I guess it’s it time to find a new lab!!

Feb 2 2009

To The Lab! “Take Two”

This morning was my follow up semenanylisis.  Jess and I discussed that we would not let the results of this test, get to us.  We figured that since the first test was bad, that more than than likely the results are not going to change.  I guess that even though I’m pretty sure there will be no difference in results, I am going in with the glass is half full point of view.   Just like the New York State lottery commercials say “Hey, You Never Know!”

Jan 28 2009

Are you sure there wasn’t even one?!

This is the first of “hopefully” not too many entries.  I have to start out by saying I never thought that this would happen to me.  I figured that eventually things would come together and we would just have kids.  As time went on, I guess I realized something was not right.  I pushed off a statement by a urologist that was said many years ago to me when I had an infection of the prostate.  He realized something might be abnormal but said that I shouldn’t worry and there was no need to look further into it unless my wife (at that time, it was my girlfriend) was unable to get pregnant.  

I took my step into the fertility world on Monday 1/26/09.  I was provided with a sterile cup and told to do work.  I did the duty, dropped it off and tried to forget about it until the results came.  This brings us to today.

I knew something was wrong as soon as I got back into the house from a little potty stroll with Keena (that’s my dog by the way!).  Jess (my wife) was on the couch crying.  I knew she had called the doctor on the way out so I had an idea of what was wrong.  I was a little taken back when she said there was no sign whatsoever of any sperm in the semenalysis. 

I’m unsure of how to feel.  I keep running it through my head, and the only thing I could think of is that maybe someone made a mistake at the lab.  I know it sounds silly, and it’s probably not true, but how do you handle someone telling you that one of the main things that make a man, a man is not present in you.