Nov 9 2009

MIA

I’ve been MIA for the last couple weeks, not only on the the blog but in my mind as well.  I think the mental stresses of the last year finally caught up with Jess and I.  This, combined with Clomid the Doc has me on, has made me a little loopy.  Just to give an update on the Clomid, my Doc decided to put me on it for a couple months to bring up my testosterone level, and try to  stimulate some type of sperm production (hopefully I don’t grow boobs!!).  My pharmacist even argued with me that the medicine must be for my wife, and that my urologist had made a mistake.  My Doc assured me that the meds are for me.  I have a follow-up with him tommorow to monitor hormone levels and hopefully get some kind of plan together. 

I think the 3 more months of waiting, along with the reality of needing to have donor back up has been the needle that broke the haystack.  It’s been a tough couple of weeks, and I’m sure it’s not going to get any easier.  Jess and I decided it might be worthwile to get in touch with the IVF clinic and see what kind of infertility counseling they offer.  I don’t know if it will help, but I am definitely willing to give it a shot, especially since we need to come to terms with the fact that donor sperm might be our only option.  As I have said in the past, I am all for the donor sperm.  I think that what we both need is to talk to someone and get some ideas of how to cope and move on. 

 I read an article by  William D. Petok, Ph.D. (link brings you to the article)  on Resolves website.  It describes all the feelings I have gone through in the past year.  It is a good read for anyone who knows someone with Male Factor Infertility.  It gives a little insight into to how we (men) feel.