Oct 14 2009

Still Moving Forward

The Doc isn’t giving up on me yet!!

I went to my appointment with mixed feelings.  In one hand I had a great big, heavy, smelly pile of crap (that’s my metaphor for giving up).  In the other was tiny speck of optimism.  The only thing that was running through my head was the Doc giving me the old, “There’s Nothing More I Can Do” speech.  I was pleasantly surprised when giving up on me was not on his agenda at all. 

When Jess and I first met this Doc, the first thing we told him was that we wanted him to be aggressive.  We wanted to try everything possible.  He is on board!  As for our next step, I’m not too sure.  We are currently waiting on more blood test results, and I might possibly be going on a medication route in order to try and stimulate something.  We discussed a future second biopsy, and agree that this will be our best chance to find something.  If I do end up taking the meds, it will be another 3 month wait, with lots of fun blood tests in order to regulate them.  This would put us into 2010 before Jess would start another cycle. 

Regardless of the outcome, we will be setting up another try at sperm retrieval to coincide with any IVF cycles.  We will, however, need to have a  backup for any future IVF cycles.  This brings us to the ever so fun and exciting expedition that is, sperm shopping.  Jess and I haven’t really focused on this yet.  We have only dipped our feet in the waters, and quickly pulled them out because they are way too cold.  Eventually, we are going to have dive right in.  This was the hardest thing for me to think about in the beginning.  I couldn’t come to terms with purchasing someone else’s baby batter.  I was even on the fence up until my last semenalysis.  It’s getting easier, every day,  and the more and more I think about.  Now, I didn’t come up with this one myself, but I figure that my little side-kick Keena didn’t come from either Jess or I, let alone the human species, but she is a part of our family, and we love her like a daughter (I’m a big sap when it comes to my dog).

 What I have realized is that regardless of who the sperm comes from, that I will be one changing the diapers.  I will be one the one to teach the baby how to walk and talk.  I will be the one share to all the special moments.  I will be the one to be there during the great times, and the tough times.  I will be the one there when they find their first love, and when suffer their first loss.  I will be the dad, and there isn’t anything that could take that away from me!

This is why I live by the quote on my homepage.

“Life isn’t about trying to weather the storm, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”  -unknown

11 Responses to “Still Moving Forward”

  • Somewhat Ordinary Says:

    Glad the doc isn’t giving up on you! Your last paragraph speaks volumes.

  • Fertility Chick Says:

    Sounds like you have a wonderful Dr. – and you have a wonderful attitude!

    Thank you for this post – my husband is also dealing with male IF issues (He’s the blogger for “In the Name of the Father”) and this definitely resonates. We have a donor on ‘back up’ and in our particular case will have to no matter what.

    Sending lots of good thoughts your way. Thanks again for this post.

  • HopefullyTTC Says:

    Great to hear that your doc is still on side and there are other options. Coming to terms with a donor is no easy task, but you have totally summed it up when you say you “will be the dad”! I hope that you will not have to fully come to terms with a donor.

  • Kenny Says:

    Thank you all so much for the kind words, and support!!!

  • Mister IVF Says:

    Good luck mate. The dr sounds great and above all you are sounding really good about all sorts of possible options!

  • mertle Says:

    you have a great attitude–just don’t give up and keep sharing about it..and laugh a little.


  • karlinda Says:

    You will indeed be the Dad, and, at the end of the day, that’s what really counts. Glad to hear your doc isn’t giving up.

  • Mrs. Gamgee Says:

    You know, there is an old saying that anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad. I think you have the right attitude…

    I hope that the plan for meds and everything provide the results you seek.


  • kimbosue Says:

    “baby batter”…. never heard it called that before. You have a great attitude and open mind. That is really the first step. Good luck in your journey!

  • Krystal Says:

    What a refreshing difference from the usual female-written blogs I usually read! You are an excellent writer (and HILARIOUS! Baby batter? LOL!). Thanks so much for this!

    I’m so glad that you’re coming to this important conclusion! I’m not sure what my thoughts are on donor sperm/eggs, since it hasn’t come up (yet!), but it’s great to hear someone’s view on it! Thanks again!

  • Lut C. Says:

    Popped in from the crème de la crème.

    Options always make me feel better too. Bringing a donor into the picture is a big step though, worth giving some thought.

    Whatever route you take, good luck!

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