Oct 6 2009

And So It Begins (Again)

The summer has ended, and we are well into fall.  With that comes the return of anxiety, car rides to Hackensack, trips to doctors, good days, bad days, and even the occasional sperm sample.  With that in mind, I return to the roller coaster that is IVF, and Male Infertility (tomorrow).  A short trip to the lab to “produce”, and leave my sample will start the whole process over again.  I don’t know if I’m looking forward to it or not.  I definitely want to get the ball rolling, but I am afraid to be heartbroken again.  Each time I promise myself that I won’t let it happen, but the bad news breaks me.  I think I am going into this one with more of a let’s see if the surgery was worth it attitude, rather than my life is over, I can’t father a child, I’m worthless, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, attitude.  I have it pretty set in my mind that I’m going to get the same results as previous semenanalysis’, but there is always that little bit of hope that grabs you at the last second just to let you down.

Wish Me Luck!!  😉

5 Responses to “And So It Begins (Again)”

  • Fertility Chick Says:

    Wishing you luck. My husband is dealing with male IF and can definitely relate to the feelings that you shared. Thank you for this post.

  • babymakingjourney Says:

    Good luck tomorrow!!! My husband is part of our IF, and it is really hard on him. I am glad you are out here putting a male perspective to IF. Have you done/are you thinking about any surgery to test testicular tissue? That my husband’s next step, and he is scared to death. Has been putting it off since May- so just curious.

    Good luck again, and as a wife of knocked down hunk- I am so sorry you are going through this.

    IT SUCKS!!!!!

    Kenny Reply:

    The test was actually yesterday (results weren’t good, but I’ll post about that). I sometimes am a little behind on posts. I write drafts, then forget to post them. Anyway, I have had two surgical procedures which both showed nothing. In April, I had a PESA procedure in line with Jess’ IVF cycle. In June I had Bilateral Microdissection TESE, along with a varicocele repair. It’s all in the diary, so have your husband take a look. It wasn’t that bad, and it only took a couple weeks to be back to normal.

  • Kate Says:

    Good luck tomorrow.


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